Day 24: If You Were Alive For One Day, I/We Would Be…

“I feel you everywhere I go, I see your smile, I see your face, I see you laughing in the rain.”

You are 2 years and 4 months old. It’s Saturday morning and I wake up to you giggling and talking in your room. As soon as I get you up, your brothers wake up and we all head downstairs to play. We give your dad some more time to sleep.

Your brothers tell Alexa to play music and we have a dance party… in our pajamas… in the living room. The music wakes up your dad and he comes down to join us.

We open up the windows to get a fresh breeze through the house. It’s 60 degrees. A beautiful fall feeling day. We decide to take a trip to the pumpkin patch. We have breakfast, get dressed, brush our teeth, and hop in the van.

When we get there, we make sure to take pictures by the pumpkins and the sign that shows “How Tall I Am This Fall”. It is almost impossible to get all three of you to cooperate and smile at the camera at the same time, but we get what we can get. We head over to see Zander the dinosaur. You cry because he’s big and scary, while your brother’s try to calm you down and tell you he won’t hurt you. We make sure to get on the Hay Rack Ride and go to pick our pumpkins for carving. Once that is done, we make our way to the chicken coop so you can throw balls around. This is where we spend most of our time as you are so easily entertained.

We finally make our way across the pumpkin patch to the train. We wait in line for what seems like forever, and finally make our way to the front. You sit in my lap, your brothers on each side of you. They love and cannot get enough of you, Ellis. They take in your wonder and excitement as we go through the tunnel of scary things. They anticipate that you are going to cry, so they try to distract you. We then get out to the fish singing and we all laugh 🙂 Our train ride ends and we decide to go and get some lunch at the barn. We stop at the petting zoo on our way and roast a marshmallow, too. We have to get kettle corn along with some other staples. We go through a few more attractions before making our way back to the front entrance. We pay for our items and make our way to the car. On the way home, all three of you fall asleep watching a movie. Your dad and I savor the quiet and reminisce about the day’s events. We get home and play outside. Your brothers ride their bikes and you run after them. We get fresh air and exercise until it’s time to come in for supper. Your dad made chili in the instant pot. You enjoy chili with your crackers just like your brothers. We sit down to watch some football… well, your dad and I do, while you and your brothers wrestle and play on the lego table.

Before we know it, it’s time to get ready for bed. We get pajamas on, brush our teeth, and tuck you in. We say our prayers and I read a story out of Esley’s preschool Bible. We give hugs and kisses and say our goodnights.

On a good night, you and your brothers would fall asleep right away 🙂 I would check in on you before I go to bed. I would open your door and just watch you sleep. I would take in every piece of you and count my blessings. I would remind myself how lucky I am to have you and your brothers here with me.

I wish this was our reality. I wish I could watch you grow up alongside your brothers. I wish that for them… for us… for me… I wish I could tuck you in at night. Hug you. Kiss you. Take in your scent again. All of it. Any of it.

I wish…

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